ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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