i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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