id be glad to
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
