dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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