the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
why is half of my head shaved?
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