My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
