he thought i was a dude.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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