We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
