my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
