I can't watch pbs sober anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
