She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as a side note pls kill me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
