Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
