Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
