So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
