I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she peed on how many people?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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