Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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