Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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