North Korea, Best Korea!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
