I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
zippers are such a cool invention
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
