i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
