Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
