Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
