He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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