we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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