Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
