rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
