I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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