bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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