so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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