it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
