god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
