If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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