windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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