Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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