im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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