dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
