STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
