Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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