Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need to calm my uterus...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
