bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
