glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
