Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
