his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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