Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
