Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
