What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
