Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
