is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
