Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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