who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
